I met with my therapist, we talked, I talked, wait, I talked she asked questions. She wants me to write down every day my highsand lows. I have what's called Anhedonia. No emotions, Numb, comfortably numb? No just numb. I have kids, do you know how hard it is to raise daughters, while having a mental breakdown? Yesterday I spoke with my boss and have decided to go part time, PRN. Scary, right? No insurance anymore for my family. I can pick it up, at great expense though. This bites, can't even have a breakdown like a normal person !?! Thats funny! Normal people. Is there such thing???

So you see the water drops on the window, that's how I feel, everyday. Even on mt best days. How stupid! I can't help how I feel though. I spent 6 days in the Nut Hut. Best 6 days of my life! I am doing 1:1 counseling with a therapist now, and have my own psychiatrist to handle my mess. Yay!!!! Anyway, just wanted to start somewhere. I'll be back.